Real men need to have courageous conversations – that will end gender based violence
Real men where are you? Why are you quiet? Who are you waiting for, to safe our women and girls? South Africa is spinning out of control at the moment, our beloved country is making international headlines for all the wrong reasons. In 2018, a number of media reports and government statements reported the increase of femicide by 117% in South Africa between 2015 and 2016/17. Bafowethu, this is completely unacceptable, we cannot be modest about this recurring barbaric act. Let’s treat foreigners, girls, and women with great respect, they are human beings likes us; they don’t deserve this.
This week I listened to so many news reports that show that our moral fibre is broken. The week started on a low note with news of Uyinene Mretyana’s murder, a young girl with so much promise. Just before I recovered news broke of four innocent children killed in KwaZulu Natal and Leighandre ‘Baby Lee’ Jegels, a young female boxer with so much potential shot to death. Before I caught my breadth, I witnessed horrifying images of people attacking and burning shops in the township that they said were owned by foreign nationals. The constant in all these cases are some men who think by butchering the very women and children they are supposed to be protecting, they are solving the problem. I looked around me and felt very embarrassed because I am also a man.
This is personal because I want my daughter to grow up in a safe country – Richard Montsho
I want my daughters, my wife, my auntie, my sister, my mother, and any other person to walk freely anytime anywhere in South Africa without any fear of rape, murder, physical harm or xenophobic attacks. Do you want the same? Now, why are you silent? In fact, why have I been silent? It’s about time we have man – to – man talks with these fellows who are killing our sisters, daughters, mothers and aunts because they are misrepresenting us. We know them, because some of them are members of our social clubs, some of them drive our taxis, some of them are members of our political parties, some of them are working with us, some of them are members of our churches; and some of them are our brothers, cousins and friends. So, why are we silent? When we find out some form of abuse happening in our circles or the men actually brag about something horrible they have done or are doing, why do we choose to look the other way? I ask myself what role I could play in addressing these issues more and in doing so save that girl who could be the next hashtag or headline.
Real men can no longer turn the other way!
I think the time is now to have face – to – face conversations with those men; whether in a tavern, at the church, at the taxi rank, at the gym, wherever we interact with them let pass this message to them, “enough is enough – hands-off our girls and women.” But above all, let’s ask them what goes into their minds when they harm an innocent woman, when they rape a hopeless girl, or when they resort to violence to solve a domestic dispute. Brothers let’s do this for our little girls and their mummies who have become scared souls experiencing sleepless nights. Guys this is too much, let’s stand up to eradicate violence against women and children in our respective corners. I am saying it’s no longer enough to be angry and create hashtags when yet another woman or girl is killed or raped or violated. I am therefore calling on all real men to join me in a “365 Days, 7 days, 24 hours of Activism for No violence against women and children.” This is now an emergency and we cannot have a modest reaction to an abnormal situation. It is also time for real men to train the next generation of men, our boys on how to become more responsible and not cause harm to women and girls.
Eish bafowethu – Enough is Enough – sokwanele!
Brothers, in case we forgot it is our moral obligation to promote and protect the rights of women and children. We can only achieve this if we show them respect, love, care and support. Break the silence!If you and I are indeed real men, it is time for action so that we will never again have a Uyinene Mretyana, Leighandre ‘Baby Lee’ Jegels, Janika Mallo, Meghan Cremer, Karabo Mokoena, and many others whose names never made it to the news who died before their time. Enough is enough Bafowethu, it’s time for Real Men to Act! Otherwise history will judge us harshly if we don’t act now.
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The Trust supports and mobilises civil society networks on issues of ending child marriage, ending violence against children, ending female genital mutilation and promoting children’s rights, to carry out advocacy and action across Africa. Special focus is placed on Malawi, Mozambique, Tanzania and Zambia where child marriage continues to be a problem largely driven by poverty, gender inequality, harmful traditional practices, conflict, low levels of literacy, limited opportunities for girls and weak or non-existent protective and preventive legal frameworks.
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